2. Describe your history with non-monogamy and/or alternative lifestyles
Thankfully, I was raised by my mother throughout most of puberty and she is very sex positive in comparison to every other adult in my life at the time. Even when I tried to hide things from her, like my sexual and romantic experiences with my girl friends when I was young, she found out because she was a snoopy mom - but the way she handled it was always brilliant. I felt like loving the way my body felt in connection to other human beings was a beautiful and natural thing.
As a result, I’ve never been consciously closed off to ideas about sexuality. I knew open relationships were a thing but I never really thought about it or considered it for myself until I met my Star. I was 25, and he was 45. He explained to me that his relationships worked best when they were open and it surprised me that I was not turned off by the idea, but rather intrigued.
It has had its challenges, certainly. It’s work to sift through all your subconscious beliefs regarding monogamy. But it’s the kind of work I find exciting. I much prefer making conscious decisions about how to live my life than just accepting what’s been told to me if what’s been told to me doesn’t work for me. This is one of those situations.
I choose to live my life as a polyamorous person. This choice puts me face to face with any beliefs I have about love and commitment that have been transcribed by society at large. I get to rewrite them to suit my choices. It’s exhilarating!
I (think I) really only have a few little kinks to work out, at this point. I feel grounded in it now, like I’ve built a stable framework that allows me to navigate the challenges of my relationships with ease. It’s hard to imagine a scenario in which I would choose to be monogamous again.